A Halt for Workaholic Life of ...

There's a two month frame for me. I'm leaving a remarkable job that earn me not an award that I can proud off, BUT acknowledgment of my capacity as a creative person who had contributed in many fields to enrich and 'empowered' people on how they see and experience new media especially in the Government sector/industry. I'm leaving a job that made me earn more than RM84, 000k per year. Some might say I'm insane, some are excited to see me back in the scene, but what's in it for me? I have been working non stop ever since I work on WCIT & IAP. In fact, there had been to much of paperworks for me, spent to much time reading and replying emails and spent hours of meetings. I'd longed for a break. That's all I can say. I left my creative work too long and I need to re-charge so I can continuously become creative and inspire to others.

I'm quite happy. It actually took me three (3) months before I made up my mind. I felt that now I need to fully utilize before I start back working as a freelancer and move on to a solid place that can offer me permanent position even how low it can be. I believe it won’t bother me as long as if fits the bill ;-). There are always times your ‘saham’ can fall or raise, of course I don’t want to choose a workplace that is far away from me, ever again! Since the hike of petrol is insane, besides spending up to RM1,200 per month on travel expense, I could not imagine seeing my life in ‘danger’ of driving back and forth from Selayang to Cyberjaya, not forgetting no company insurance covered and no travel allowance, no EPF, disapprove house bank loans and definitely no bonus :-).

Last Friday, dated 20th June was my official day that I discuss with my H.O.D for Branding & Communication and I will be leaving that nice sanctuary by end of July to pursue my creative journey once again. I bumped into my PM, Kamal from Saladin in the H.Q foyer and he said something really made me so 'f**ked-up'. He invited me for a farewell on my last day, can you believe that? I actually felt to that very moment like crying (damn!), but I told him no to do farewell to me. I just thought and always felt Saladin team was a family to me, except for that 'Mr. Yo! Bro, collabro' (buat dunno je bila berselisih). I'm gonna miss everyone so much especially my ex-collegue's from CMD and Saladin (Especially my greatest boss I had worked with, Hasnul Hadi) You can never ever find a boss who is so creative and give you Keroro figure set for your birthday :-). I'm actually going to miss the fish pond in MDeC because every month, I feed the fish with biscuts and bread I bought for them.

Now, I really have to put this in my blog because after my discussion with my buddy, Roul, he just said something deep and so fresh because I felt a bit down and vulnerable for a while after discovered someone leaving me a bad impression.

'qualifications doesn't justifies.. and not an authorization for you to undermine people's achievement..' and 'regretting your decisions is an act of denying your intelligence...'

Thanks Roul. Normally I gave you advices in your career and life, but today, you help me out. :)

That Enlighten Moment

Disclaimer: this post is not to show people that I'm a religious person, but this post is to tell you that wherever you are, whatever you do, God loves you. God never left you behind, it is you who left God behind. At times (and all the time), you need to pray and remember God, and for that you know the purpose of your life and what you would like to achieve.

Recently, my mind got so hair wired. Along with my huge friends and family, I felt the necessary to felt sorrow. I was mad, sad, angry, and unable to forgive myself for what I've done. I called my heart for few prayers and doa. It's been awhile I never touched my tasbih. It was always the huya-huya party, and I left my purity behind. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Kuasa. I felt that special night made me calmed. I always know that prayers made me neutralized again, back to my senses, and I felt more relaxed. Azam saya nak start balik baca Muqaddam (actually dah start mengaji) and al-Quran and insya'Allah I try my best to fulfill my azam during my breaks. I always have this thoughts but my will wasn't that strong. Now I break it and felt in a new level. I know by doing this, I benefit a lot of things that can make me become more 'stable' and humble.

I actually felt shukor (thankful) because I can still manage to balance my life well. There are few said that I'm just being 'kiasu' but that's not the case. I believe in my confidence and sometimes it is necessary you mention what are the good doings that you did (bukan sekadar nak tutup dosa or to cover up your sins) BUT to let others know what you do, so that in some way it will inspire others. There are others out there who like to assume things about you, even accuse for false information on you just to bring your self-esteem down. You do good things in your life, Insya'Allah, rezeki akan Tuhan berikan. Buat masa ni Alhamdulillah, sebab Muid tak pernah aniayai orang atau tutup periuk nasi orang. I know few who did talk bad things about me have a very miserable life. They can never find their peace. Either they are doing not very well in their life or in their career. Whatever the case, I felt sorry for them. God is great so I promise myself not to be like them :-) and keep on doing the right and good things in life.

p/s: Did I tell you guys my ustad is very garang. Got rotan summore.. if I salah pronounce my word, dia ketuk meja. Sure kena rotan if I'm a kid :P. which also reminds me to finish of reading 'I Am Muslim' by our dear Dina Zaman.

Hey Moe, long time no click!

Here are my latest HDR's processing. Those photo walk with me fellow photographers really kicking back my Adobe™ Photoshop skills once again. Kudos to Shaf, Abby, Ripi, Prakash, Vic, Nagen, Syiqin, Rafiq, Suzie and Nell for being my photo buddies.



Neu designs werks?



Managed to produce few artwork last month and this month. It feels good to do artwork. I'm currently studying the history of Hang Li Po and studying another sea life 'Nautilus'.

Urbanscapes 2008

As Digital Malaya Project reborn in a new website (finally!), we manage to kick off with a new exhibition with KLue, for Urbanscapes 2008. The show was a huge success attended by 6,000 Malaysians and tourists.


Photos by Mizie @ Flickr.


Me, best friend back in UiTM, Nadiah, and sister Abby. Photos by Eka.

I also had a nice chat with my old friends, including the one I keep in touch regularly, Nadiah! (Nad, considered regular la kan? :P). Eka & Nad, thanks to both of you guys for coming that day :). Yes, I owe you delicious pasta... Picolomondo?


My dearest Atilia (Malaysia Jazz Princes), Prakash (Orange), me & Damien (Urbanscapes Artist). Photos by Halimi Saidi.

We would like to thank the Urbanscapes team, everyone who came to our gallery including Atilia. Although she just finish her performance that night, she still came and drop by our place. Thanks Tia, te quiero mucho! and of course, our official printer partner, EcazStudios for printing our photos for the exhibition. Tai & Halimi, you guys rawk!

Will There Ever Be A Better Place?

As a citizen of Malaysia, here's what I think of what is going on today, the reality of Malaysia. When some politicians want to hold on to power, they do actions that affect us all. Few days ago, I read a headline in the newspapers that says; 'PM ensures safety for Rakyat'. I beg to differ.

A lot of things is going on, I mean a lot. Serious crime is rising up. More illegal works come to Malaysia, some threatened and snatch those who took public transportation, in this case both me and my sister had confronted these sick bastard.



I came across road bullies who desperately seek for fights among other race. Women drivers are getting more furious and rude on the road. Toleration has gone almost 0%. I get 'racial look' each week from different car drivers and in public places. It's that obvious. When I was involved in Malaysian Artistes for Unity, what I'm currently experiencing is the other way around. I try to create unity and love among with others. Some said don't give them faces, but that's never a good solution. Most of the time I tolerate to people around me. Even when people are lining up, I give them way. Is that nobility or stupidity? :)

A friend of mine just got snatched on an escalator IN Pavillion mall, Kuala Lumpur. She lost her money and her parking ticket. It's even sad that the security and management didn't want to take responsible furthermore ask my friend to pay for the ticket for replacement due to f*cking policy.

Another friend of mine from Penang told me a lady was filling her petrol in a petrol station and during filling up the tank, when someone (thief) got in her car and hide inside. It was the petrol attendant who saw it and asks the lady to get in the counter so she will be safe. Tips: Always lock your car at the petrol station.

If you remember few weeks back, the rude 'mat rempit' (motorcyclist) attacked four ladies in a petrol station in Bangsar and some of them got injured.

People are kidnapping children to sell kids outside the country. Drug addicts sell their new born baby for few Ringgits to get new crack. Life is that cheap.

More rape cases increase each day.

Some teachers (especially in Bukit Idaman High School) is insulting and discriminating their students. I met rude prejudice teachers and they are injecting politics to their students education because they have no other scapegoats or other place to satisfy their anger towards their career and their life. Even among teachers, a lot a playing dirty just to gain more power and positions. Well, from my experience, not only teachers, but lecturers are spoiling their students, and of course, the men vs. women students where student with a the big 'V' gets more A+ from lecturers than the hardworking boys like us.

Sanctuary is no longer a sanctuary. Surau and mosque become a 'hot' place for larcenist to steal audio system (mic, speakers, cables, etc). This is a place where we thought AMIN was said out loud when we perform our prayers but soon after solat, no body cares to shake hands and greet Salam to each other. It's very frustrating.

Rakyat fear by the police? Yes, SOME of them are the certified mobs. I know there are some who are nice but most of them are pure samseng. I remember that I saw group of traffic police man sit in a mamak warung with a very hostile attitude, ask for this and that from the servant. What a poor guy. Surprisingly that man in uniform didn't even pay for what they eat and drink. They just took off. By far, I met 3 cops who's asking for bribe. My mom who also works with Bukit Aman (Police) told me to be extra careful with them. If someone from police department advise you to be extra careful with police man, which means we are seeing more corruption among them.



Last but not least, 'get rid of the consultants! they are wasting our company's money'. As I witness and heard over a meeting last friday, 4th of July in a company here in Cyberjaya. This is how people 'kill' of people who want to make a life for their living. Such a cruel villain mindset of today's Malays. Congratulations! wow.. I'm actually impressed with so called 'modern' and open-minded people. :-)

I encourage and advice people to be smart, level-headed, don't be mad all the time, try to be patience, be nice to people, appreciate things around you, do some charity, do some donation (jangan kemut duit, if you can pay for a RM300 dress, why can't put more than a dollar in a tabung surau :).

Outro: Back At One

Tonight (8th of July), I was fooling around in front of the mirror and in my room, slowly twisting my lap and waist with Suzanne Vega's Caramel. That song really get me all mysteriously groove. Such a beautiful greatly written song (love how they use it for CLOSER trailer). It's about how you longed for that person, but you can't get that person, so you have to let it go. Let... it.. go... yeah, i know so.

"Caramel"

It won't do
to dream of caramel,
to think of cinnamon
and long for you.

It won't do
to stir a deep desire,
to fan a hidden fire
that can never burn true.

I know your name,
I know your skin,
I know the way
these things begin;

But I don't know
how I would live with myself,
what I'd forgive of myself
if you don't go.

So goodbye,
sweet appetite,
no single bite
could satisfy...

I know your name,
I know your skin,
I know the way
these things begin;

But I don't know
what I would give of myself,
how I would live with myself
if you don't go.

It won't do
to dream of caramel,
to think of cinnamon
and long
for you.



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Bicara Kehidupan Seorang Pereka dan Artis Digital

P. Ramlee The Musical, A Must See!

I was moved and touched by the phenomenal performance proudly by Malaysians. Most important, it's about the legendary multi talented the late, Tan Sri P. Ramlee!


Board Members of Creative Commons Malaysia (Wan Peng, Muid, Hasnul Hadi) with Hasnul's dearly wife, Kak Riza.

I have to take a bow to amazing actress that I admire and known in person, they are my dear friend Atilia, Liza Hanim and Melissa Saila. Gosh, they are in control of the stage, and I hope Kak Tiara will have it more in the coming future. From my point of view, These beautiful ladies sing their hearts out and unbelievably impressive with their character.


Worth of sms voting during those Audition days. Chedd with my sister Abby.


I'm thrilled to meet Pat. He's supercool!


Chedd had great choreography moves and did a great role while Pat Ibrahim really did an amazing, wonderful job on choreography. It's really hard work, and it's a success! Kudos to all!

The interactive visual accompanied at the end made me in tears to have such amazing person on earth, the late Tan Sri P. Ramlee. That show had really put a moved on my heart. A remarkable show I will never forget.

al-Fatiha to our beloved.

The Saturday Workout

I had spent my day on Saturday 14th by cleaning up my room, mopping the floor and went out with Abby to get a card for our father's day. I manage to buy dinner for the whole family. But before that night. I went jogging with my pet brother at this park after Batu Caves heading to Kepong called Kepong Metropolitan Park. What so special about this park, is the only place you can see families with their kids playing kites on the sky.

It was a big spin for me to go for a jog with Kamal and I tell you, it's really good because your muscle starts to ache. He asked sarcastically 'so you really wanna go for 3 more rounds'?. It was a great excercise. On my last jog on the track we started, I stop and look up in the sky. There it was, as the kites freezed in the air. I was just silent breeze passing through me, and it made me feel so light and felt such purify. I'm doing this jogging session again, and probably bring my SLR with me. It's a great place to do photography.

The Call of Nature

The 10th till 11th of May marked a special date for me and my friends to an amazing, breast-taking (I mean breath-taking) journey of the wonderful Berkelah Waterfall on the way to Kuantan, Pahang. It's been awhile since my scout days in Ipoh, Perak. I always love camping. I remember my last camping was with my schoolmate from SM Kepong when we went to this hutan nearby Rawang. It was so freaky that there is one night the Ustad who followed us asked us to walk to our camp faster because we we're followed by an object flying from top of trees.


Photos by K:Rew. Thanks!

So back to Berkelah, I had the best time in my life with my friend, Mr. K:Rew, Rajan, Syed, Two Army Officer and one Police officer. It was so awesome and I actually felt small disappointed with myself that I didn't bring my SLR camera along. We had our 2 days and one night camping. Believe me, this is one experience you never forget! The cool, fresh waterfall was so tranquil and so purifying. I thought we had at least swim 5 times a day. We had great food with us, and such great company. The only thing that was missing is our Internet and laptops! haha.. it's the only time I don't have to think about emails, Facebook or reading news. I do get calls from clients and friend, and I told them I'm in a jungle! Even my sister and her friends didn't know where exactly I was.

Something that trip happen which inspired me is the teamwork. There was so much teamwork with this group. For the first time, I never get mad at things. There was no temper or whatsoever. The environment really helps me to find my peace. It was a great deal for me, and it's all thanks to Rajan and K:Rew for making this happen.

That Mentality: The After Trip

Me and Rajan had an unusual 'incident' on our way back to KL. We eventually had our break in the warung that we parked our cars. Now, there is this one shop with less customer that actually sells quite tasteful food and the other shop, with countless of clients. There rest went there while me and Rajan went to the other one instead. First of all, the customer service was unbelievably terrible. It explains that (no wonder!) people come visit the restaurant. The attitude of the daughter of the shop owner was terribly rude that can actually set someone's thermometer. There was no ‘Selamat datang’ (welcome), all she said with a high tone was 'Nasi?!', 'Nak Air Apa?'.

I still remember when I asked, how come you don't sell cigarettes in here, she told us there was no capital and the cost is too much to bear. That also happens to mobile top-ups. I can't believe such mentality exist, and it's no wonder how these particular typical Malays people never get their business to success because they never dare to take risks, not event to take challenge in order to move forward.

Let's take 'Mamak' restaurant in KL for example. They're probably the best food brand in Malaysia because they learn what the customer think, what the customer wants. You can now experience entertainment such as watching football (yes Manchester here) on a flat panel LCD TV, projections, there's even info-kiosk to slot in advertisements and even the place is supported by WI-FI (Internet access). Their strategy is amazing that should be example by others. But still, it's too much of a hassle to these typical people right? Sigh...

What Malaysians don't really bother and always pin-point at people

All blogs are talking about petrol price. What that does not change is the mentality of Malaysians. We kept on whining about how expensive the price of petrol is when we don't actually study back how awful we spent our money on OTHER things.

Here are some of the things that we need to look at: (problems that will never solve)

• Alcohol. They don't mind paying a jug of beer that cost RM60. They wasted at least RM300 per night. They waste their time not only money, but energy and then throw-up. Right? :-)
  
  Go figure to yammseeeenggg!
  mabuk drive kereta like samseng,
  Press minyak rugi duit langgar bentenggg....
  kereta jahanam kena saman baru nak melentennngg..
  
  
• Mobile phones. I don't understand these people especially parents who bought handphones for their kids. They could afford to buy expensive hand phone even I myself find it very expensive. They spent until thousands of Ringgit just to show off to people about it. Maybe some bought because of functionality, but most of them I met are just about fashion rather functionality.
  
  
• Mobile top-ups & bills. People can actually spent RM100 just per week! they like to talk long hours and I believe it's not good to 'gayut' for hours. Another one would be the SMS subscription of Astro Horoscope lah, Teman Setia lah, 'Saya Sunyi Kesepian' and whatsoever.
  
  
• Cigarettes. This is a case where people, especially Malaysian will continue to buy no matter how much the price has hike. A box is cigi is RM8.20. Come on, you are talking about smoking a box a day. Let's do the math, RM8.20 x 5 days = RM41 x 4 weeks is = RM164.
  
  
• Food. Now Malaysians like to spent money so much on food. It's all about class. Nak makan kat mamak atau warung / restaurant biasa bagi alasan takde standard, takde class. Once in blue moon if you wanna enjoy good food ok, but don't do it everyday! It's a waste to spent RM50 just on food per day. How is that going to help you to save up your money.
  
  
• Brand is important. I drop by a grocery to get my shower foam. It cost me RM20 bucks for a 1 liter of Shower foam (Dettol). But I choose the soap bar (that comes in 3) that costs RM4. It saves A LOT! Vitagen costs RM1.10 per bottle and we have Berry Crazy yogurt drink for RM0.90 only. And it taste even better.
  
  
• Parking. Very stingy not to pay RM1-6 ringgit for a parking, but not stingy to get summon tickets from DBKL and Police Traffic with bills up to RM300.
  
  
• Start comparing bumiputra or non-bumiputra price for housing loans. Even how high or low the rates of a house or an apartment / condo you can get, you STILL will spend money on unnecessary renovation, buy expensive furniture, spent up to RM10,000 for a rock and fish garden, kitchen and others. FYI, one Koi fish is RM500 and above.When they about to sell the house, buyers don't care how much you had spent on renovation, they will still bargain to get less price. It's human nature.
  

Unless some Malaysian earn very low income. They would suffer from this. I would felt sorry for them. The past two months, I had been recklessly spent too much money on unnecessary things. I myself admit that I had been wasting my money a lot on entertainment. That's why I had take major, major change to keep myself aware of what's going on. I am trying hard to minimize my entertainment :-)

We should be able to spend our money wisely. I know I have to. We should be able to cut on our entertainment, not all but try to keep it less for better, stop wasting time subscribing to unnecessary plans and buying expensive materials or getting installment scheme.

Still Photography


Me, Abby, Syiqin, Ripi & Nagen.

Yes, never missed it on weekly basis. What we did few weeks back after such trouble work in the office, we went for photo walk in Salak South with Syiqin, Ripi, Nagen and Abby.


Salak South Photo walk with friends. This is Nagen.


Old photos, recently edited. My photo walk with my Saladin artist at the bird park.


Manage to take photos in this year Citrawarna Malaysia 2008. Noryn & Sam, good luck in L.A.!

What's New With Creative?

I will be joining together with my team, Digital Malaya Project for an interactive art exhibition for Urbanscapes, located in KLPac, this upcoming 27th of June. Please come! pre-ticket sell at RM25 while RM35 on that day itself. Check out th website fore more info. DMP has an all-new team joining us is Fariz Hanapiah from MotioFixo, Fozy, Nadirah, Ee Venn and Prakash Daniel and official step down from the group is Shieko. We welcome back Perez.



Other than that, I will be working on two local artist's album. You guys would probably figure it out who ;-).


Extract from my novel:

Waktu itu, aku masih berada didalam bebola perut ibundaku. Kedengaran rentak-rentak aneh memberikan suatu tanda tanya. Ibuku berkata didalam hati bahawa aku kini didalam kereta menuju ke Ipoh sambil mendengar lagu Blondie 'Heart of Glass'. Aku mula bertanya, adakah manusia mempunyai hati kaca? adakah begitu mudah memancar sinar, turut pecah berderai sekiranya terusik?



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