You Are My Sunshine

What’s reflecting my life, my affection, passion and freedom?


“Love is by near, love is by far, You loved me, and you complete me”

Yes, life is an illusion. We foresee people to appreciate you, to give you full attention and what you want. Question, ladies and gentlemen, what is that you want in your life to be happy? I asked a few of my friends, most of them refer ‘materialism’ and culture rather than the elements of life and humanity.

People always dream of something and expect things too much. You want them to give almost everything, but in some space, you forgotten others. Disrespectful? Let me tell you a story 'about her'.

Love me then leave or love tried to save me?
I am a prejudice of relationship. I fought and told everyone that love is a lie, a fake and an illusion. But how far can this ‘fairy tale’ go?

You had put a move on my heart
Lately I’m in a phase where I never felt moved in my entire life. No one could ever express something genuinely true to me. I know when people lie and when people tell me the truth sincerely. Now it’s the real thing. I’m in love, it could be forbidden. I was treated the way I never treated before. Have you experience nice things such as going out for a movie, have a nice romantic dinner, walk in the park beside the lake, and give roses and romantic tête-à-tête? It could be just a dream then, but not for me. I only have to say this. To that person, I would like to give my greatest appreciation for opening up my heart to love once again. And I cherish this moment on that I will forever remember you in my mind. You are my soul mate that I long for. You sacrifice yourself, you express entirely to me and you had given me a chance to believe I am worth. You build my confidence and you take me to places I never thought I could see beyond the ordinary things, ordinary love. You love me for who I am and I love you for who you are. God have plans for us. And we all have to cherish the moment as much as we can. Time will tell, so let's keep it going as far as possible.

'Sayang' is what you call me. And you know what I call you :) Can't wait to be with you forever.

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Who is she to you?
She was born to love, to make people smile and laugh. She is so passionate to share her world of her intellectuality; her personality is inspiring, compassion, creative and talented. She is independent, smart and hardworking, yet inconsolable right at that very dark space where no one who can understand what is going on inside her heart, mind and soul.

In this world, I never came across any lady who can do things not like any other woman can do, she got the guts and courage. Funny that all these beautiful bitches and bimbos in Kuala Lumpur who only ought to know beauty is the only that can sell off to men and they are so wrong. How many of you guys know or see your girlfriend or wife who are capable at doing things? Who can DIY on home improvement, send kids to school without nagging like a baby, think before act? Nien (or perhaps 10-30% percent).

Typical and modern Malay men think nothing else then want woman with big boobs, beautiful fair skin, nice body and she have to be hot so you can impress and express your girlfriend or wife in public. Malay men are such fools for not to see the value of what she has. What she has crowned more than other woman does. The only cause is that she’s not pretty enough to these Malay men’s eyes. They were too superficial, too stupid and they absolutely have no noble plan in the future. They know and see beautiful woman so they want to f**k. Treat woman like ‘Touch’Ngo’ or destroy their hearts with their very game.

She had understood once, what love is, until that ‘particular person’ that she admires most rejected her. She become de-motivated and gave up on possibility. She became ‘prejudice’ and judgmental, rampage to hate few and certain target crowds. She also realized that some of her friends only care to use her because she’s educated and full of charisma. And she always claimed to be alone and try to stay cheerful to public even though she was so frustrated and depressed.
Yet, It’s even more depress to see her sad but I couldn’t tell her to 'stay and hope' that are out there a man who can love her, because if so, she wouldn’t have to be single? Time will tell. Sabar. I took most of the chance I can to make her feel comfortable, make her feel great, a smile just helps herself and had help my heart, a sign of relief. What really make her happy? She needs a boyfriend who can love her, THE WAY SHE IS now, before, present and future. She is beautiful in my heart.

Another part of her, that she thought I don’t know is that she regard too much of me. What surprised and tear my heart apart was that she had fully break into my 'privacy', read my messages (sms) in my cellphone, even browse the files in my desktop. This is one thing that I would never forgive, because I never betray her. But it seems that she just want to know so much. Sometimes I wonder why she could do that. Now, there is no stop to it and today, it’s even sadder that she had disrespect me. She is the only person I thought could understand, but now I just lost my important person who I thought I believe I can count on. My ‘lover’ told me that she cares too much about me and she loved me and it’s all right. But I asked him, why she rejected me? My lover keep on telling me just be patient. There are good things in life she wants me to be and she is leading me in a right path. I then realized that I was wrong.

But, she, would not understand what I am what I am now is never meant to be like this. Allah has plans. This is the challenge I must face. All I need is to be happy, but why can’t she acknowledge my happiness? I am happy that she got a good family which she thought one of the family members had ‘betrayed’ the entire family. Yes, she is sick and tired of me going to experiences that she didn’t like. She is sick of me actually. There’s nothing I can do to ‘win’ back her trust and respect. After all, there’s nothing for her to be respect and proud of me but humiliation. A fair trade…
But I never hate her. I never lost my respect towards her and I know she loves me.





* This is my first step to your heart, so let’s dance the night away.
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