Welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel

Disini berakhirnya epilogku

Berlapis-lapis ku ungkapkan kata – kata hikmah,
Yang mempersonakan jiwaku berbicara tentang cinta,
Dijiwa hanya Tuhan sahaja yang Maha mengetahui,
Betapa indahnya Cinta mencorak hatiku ini.

Namun, cinta belayar pergi, berlabuh takkan pulang,
Kini ku sedar apa erti kekosongan,
Kini ku sedar apa erti pilu, menghempas hatiku ini,
Walaubagaimana sekalipun ku kutip mencantum semula,
Retak dan parutnya masih terpahat.

Ku tahu ianya tanda kebijaksanaan yang Maha Esa,
Yang sentiasa menguji diriku ini,
Menguji mana sebenarnya,
Yang panas dan mana yang sejuk.

Masa singkat selama empat purnama,
Akhirnya ku tewas, kabur dan menyelubungi muka jiwaku,
Menutup hikayat yang pernah ku ingin rampaikan dan sampaikan,
Walaupun ku sedar suatu masa ia akan mekar semula,
Ku hanya serahkan segalanya pada kehendakNya.


Warna Kehidupan

Pelangi menerangi indah di ruang angkasa di petang yang sayu. Titisan langit selama dua jam tadi di iringi alunan melodi yang menemaniku, melangkah menjejaki jalan-jalan yang dimandikan titisan langit, menaiki ‘motokar beluncas’ menuju pulang ke rumah. Ada ketika aku ketawa kecil walaupun hatiku sayu akibat kecuaianku dalam mempercayai diriku, namun aku patut menerima padah akibat membeli pekej Cinta. Nampaknya ia tiada penghujung kerna hatiku menutup sudah semakin hari menutup istilah itu dan tidak mahu mengundang ia kembali. Dalam minda dan hatiku cuma inginkan lebih ketenangan, lebih kesabaran, lebih ketabahan dan kekuatan agarku boleh meneruskan corak seharianku. Kini, aku kembali ke Persatuan Luka Hati, kembali ke dunia individualisma, dunia hanya satu.



It's officially insecure, no heart that cares and leaving me in pain.
I guess this is how I should say.

Green Eyes - Erykah Badu
(Click here to download the song)

My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend

I don't care, I swear
I'm too thru with you I am
You don't mean nothing to me
So go ahead and be with your friend

My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend

I'm insecure
But I can't help it
My mind says move on
My heart lags behind
But I don't love you any more
I'm so insecure
Never knew that love did this
Ooh, ooh

I can't remember the last time I felt this way
About somebody
You've done something to my mind
And I can't control it
But I don't love you any more
Yes I do, I think
Loving you is wrong baby
Ooh, ooh

I'm so confused
You tried to trick me yeah
Ooh, ooh, oh
Never knew that love could hurt like this
Never thought I would but I got dissed
Makes me feel so sad and hurt inside
Feel embarrased so I want to hide
Silly me I thought your love was true
Change my name to Silly E. Badu
Before I heal, it's gonna be a while
I know it's gonna be a while, chile

I hope it's not too late
Too late, too late, too late
Feeling insecure
Your love has got me sore
I don't want no more

Just make love to me
Just one more time and then you'll see
I can't believe I made a desparate plea
Believe me yeah, ye-ah, no, oh
You see I can't leave, it's too late
I can't leave, it's too late
Don't you know, I can't leave, it's too late
Can't go no where, no
It's too late
It's too late
It's too late
It's too late yeah
Come on babe

Don't you want be strong with me
You told me we could have a family
Want to run to me when you're down and low
But times get tough and there you go
Out the door, you wanna run again
Open your arms and you'll come back in
Wanna run cause you say your afraid, afraid

Never knew what a friendship was
Never knew how to really love
You can't be what I need you to
And I don't know why i fuck with you

I know our love will never be the same
But I can't stand the growing pains

___

Lost in dust. Forever.

_
* almost the last dance...

It’s Magic!

Wahai tangan yang diberi, tangan untuk menarikan kayu hikmat,
Wahai mata yang mampu melihat, mencari dan menerokai,
Wahai minda yang mampu mencipta, mencari dan melahirkan keindahan,
Wahai yang Maha Esa, berikanlah kami ilham dan kesabaran agar kami dapat berkarya.

Generating creativity and excellence in the past two weeks has been such a tremendous experience. To be able to work with highly talented team, most of all great leadership with full of positive mind-set and always, to be able to think outside the box.

Taken in a different perspective, it was a great ‘margin’ growth for me (in terms of my skillets), where I was able to create something far than I can expect in such a short period. Nevertheless, the people I work in this period of time has been such great company which I was once worked with them in 2001. Like Rashidin* said, ‘Baaaiiikkk punya!’ (means ‘verrryy good!’).

* Rashidin, is an ‘Otai’ (Master conceptualist) in XM as well as the whole creative team.

Now that I’m hanging out with Yunus, I’m gonna be injected with Adidas shoes and latest gears, which I find it verrry shagging baby, yeah! I’m finally buying a lomo camera from Faizal Reza. Wishing him the best of luck! (hope to be safe in his back-packing tour in Europe).

The Caring Dan,
Being such a great motivator, he’s a great company and always provides me with those FYI facts in instant (like hotspot lah…), yep, that’s my brother, Daniel. He has been ‘injecting’ me with positive way to stay healthy, In fact, he loves to give advices on food and he cooks great! Since I hang out with him, I managed to gain 2kg, with ‘upgraded’ parts of my body muscle grown as positive result of my workout, hoorey! Now, that Kanye West workout plan really works :P
He’s very much concern about me and very kind enough to send me off to work and call me up everyday just to check on my condition (due to my cold breakup).

I gotta tell ya’all how wonderful Ulu Yam is! Beautiful panorama view of the lake and the waterfall is just nyze! It’s refreshing and freakin’ chillin’. Me and Daniel went there last week and have our skin soak in the fresh water.

When it’s over
The hardest decision in my life has finally been made. There are no regrets, just like Robbie Williams sang in his song. I can’t afford to catch-up on this cold long distance relationship, it’s killing me, especially here in my heart, but it’s not the end of the world! I stayed positive, I’m much stronger. It’s about time I move on.



Moving On
Talk about moving on, I have the privillage to be one of the 8th Philippines Web Awards final judges (again, yeay!) with among the best judges around, from Inksurge, to Drew Europeo, to Carole of Netdiver, Joshua Davis and many great idols.

I got major revamp of my design skillset, I feel it and it's becoming more positive, although at some freaking time I can get uninspired and bloody-work-emo. But it's cool. I will be spending my time meeting my dearest friend Noni who's in KL now and will be at my brother's house this weekend to play PS2: Prince of Persia, Warrior Withn. Yeay!

Now, for laugh and giggle, listen me singing a verse of Anthony Hamilton's Since I've Seen You (here). Muid pandai nyanyi gak la.... kuang-kuang-kuang...


* wasn't my last dance at the club with Dan last week, yeay! wanna dance few more.
_

As Days Goes By (Part II)

Rangkapan Kata-kata untuk Kalian

Hatta, suatu ketika aku telah mengayakan kekhilafanku untuk menepati terma keegoan dan ketidakmatangan dalam erti kehidupan dan kerjayaku. Berulangkali aku bertindak terlalu emosional yang sedikit sebanyak memberi kesan seterusnya membentuk perwatakan pasif dan negatif yang senantiasa berbicara tentang perihal ketidaktenteram jiwa malah hasrat hati dalam menitik corak kerjayaku.

Namun, masa telah dihembus bayu bagaikan awan di langit yang biru. Aku mengerti akan warna kehidupan dan takdir yang perlu dinilai secara positif. Aku sedar akan iltizamku. Hari ini, aku memulakan langkah yang pesat untuk membentuk corak baru dalam lapangan kehidupanku, suatu pengajian yang baru yang mengalir seperti sungai , yang akan mengisi diriku dengan seribu satu ilmu. Hari ini juga, aku mahu mengubah persoalan kredibiliti aku sebagai seorang seniman dan juga ahli reka interaktif di suatu ‘daerah’ yang pernah membina kematangan dan pengalaman kerjayaku.

Aku kini percaya akan jari-jemariku dan permainan minda yang akan terus kekal kreatif yang akan membantu menyelesaikan permasalahan komunikasi visual. Aku ingin meneruskan destinasiku ini sebagai hamba yang mencipta, memberi dan menyumbang terhadap kemajuan budaya maya dan kehidupan rohani dan jasmani. Insya’Allah.

.....................................................................................

Back in those days!
Watching US Top 100 Billboard on Channel [V] yesterday reminded me of our dear Paula Malai Ali. This is the conversation I had with her on Channel [V] shootin'.



Muid: Hey there, glad to see you here. (Abby was next to me)
Paula: Ouh, hello there.
Muid: I enjoy watching your show at Filusic in RTM Channel 2.
Paula: No, that's not me. That's my sister.
Muid: Oh.. you're Paula. Sorry, i thought you're Jenny :P
Paula: (Looked at me and go like 'deyme')

I had the worst conversation every with her :P. Well, after that I paid to see her once in Actors Studios and attend a charity benefit in KLCC (if I'm not mistaken). She musta-been like: 'duh.. Jenny is much famous than me?!? '

We start 'giggling' and Abby just 'knock' on my head off. We had our pictures taken with our dearest sweet Paula. Paula, if you happen to visit this blog again, girl, I'm really sorry girl. ;P

....................................................................................

Love Tried To Save Me

These are my hands, but what can they give me?
These are my eyes, but they cannot see
These are my arms, but they don't know tenderness
And I must confess that I am usually drawn to sadness
And loneliness has never been a stranger to me, but

Love tried to welcome me
But my soul drew back
Guilty of lust and sin
Love tried to take me in

These are my lips, but they whisper sorrow
This is my voice, but it's telling lies
I know how to laugh, but I don't know happiness
And I must confess, instead of spring, it's always winter
And my heart has always been a lonely hunter, but still

Love tried to welcome me
But my soul drew back
I was covered with dust and sin
Love tried to take me in
Love tried to break me

And I must confess, instead of spring, it's always winter
And my heart has always been a lonely hunter, but still.

Heart is one of the precious organs in our body. It’s funny how we are (Malay) translate it. It should be called ‘Jantung’, but instead, we call it liver (‘Hati’). I got shot by a cupid before, it was this year indeed. I felt so alive and contented. But I know somehow it will hurt me someday. But facing it has been the greatest challenge. Here’s what few of my dear friend advice me:

Abby: it’s up to you
Gaby: just forget about it sometimes, try not to think about it.
Daniel: It won’t last forever, no need to
Aniq: I have no single friends
Nonny: Yeah, right!
Shieko: Don’t worry
Perez: Dia busy kot. Give time :)
Awan: dalam hati ada perasaan. dalam perasaan lahirlah jiwa. dalam jiwa ada cinta, dalam cinta ada segala-galanya.
Azril: You want to meet up for a drink? we can talk about it..

A lot of them concern about me. Sometimes I got so emotional, afraid to let it go. When my heart is trying to keep love far from distance, somehow it won’t work. Sometimes it’s hard to let go of the things we love the most. It’s a risk we must take. I remember reading ‘Tuesday with Morrie” and how the author describe about compassion and ‘buying’ thing. I just found out that I’m buying ‘love’ but I’m unsure about really happy of the ‘product’. Let’s just wait and see if my sayang would read this and see what my sayang thinks about it. Where are you? I miss u sayang. Please SMS me :)


Work updates
I've been intensively upgrade my skillset in flash & PHP, hence I had achieved much positive result. It's always been so good to be able to learn something new. This month I will be sorting out my portfolio and revamp 50% of (.ml - moedlatif) content and interactivity. I'm also currently upgrading DMP:2006 with new look-n-feel, it's going to be very fascanating as I had revamped the whole site and looking forwards for more content-improvement and much interactivity. In fact, I want to get back more traffic, since it's been passive for a year, because we, DMP Collective @ Did'jital Nu'santara have been actively participating in many local and South East Asia exhibitions and talk. Not to mention, I had a wonderful time at The One Academy (Final Year Multimedia student's) presentation and assesment. Nice meeting Jason from NagaDDB Malaysia. Thousand appreciation goes out to Sweii, for such a great company and the gift. Also, would like to thank DesignTaxi for credit-ing my name in their portal. It was nice meeting you guys!

I would like to congratulate both of my senior friend, Apai & Anajin for their new born baby. God bless you guys with all the best things in life :)

I heard about iDN DesignEdge2005 conference that will be in hold in Singapore this 11-13 November. I hope I can come there, and meet all of my Asian friends from Singapore, Indonesia, Philippines & Australia. Hey, thanks to Illustration Mundo for featuring my illustration work.



_
* where is that dancefloor...?