Monday, September 25, 2006

Poetry: What is natural affection?

I haven't been doing poetry for very long time. I thought I want to share with you my 'freestyle' poem that I wrote an hour ago. If you watch the movie 'Little Black Book' starring Brittiny Murphy or Anything Else, by Jason Briggs, I believe the story of mine goes something like that. So here goes:

There I watch those starry stars in the sky,
With hope of heaven to shine upon me,
To shine my love and my soul,
Why must I need love?

Long ago I’m afraid to love, I once loved,
I was born to give but never to take,
Like a butterfly trapped in a golden cage,
Set to be free, by someone who wants me to be free

All night I look upon the hill of sorrow,
Looking at the ray of light becomes dim and emotionally blurry,
If I do somehow found the love I had longed for,
Why the one I love have to keep on holding back?

Is there such natural affection in us?
Will love ever be harmful to my broken heart?
Why it’s a shame to admit the defeat of security in us?
What are you waiting and searching for?
Why does someone so close have to be so vulnerable?

What I want is to care and give my enduring love,
I want to build a moment to worship our understanding,
But somehow forever drift from this reality,
Because we weren’t bound to make it happen.

Though one day I will recreate and realign my love,
But until then, I understand I will never satisfy anyone,
Because all the things I thought there’s possibility,
Will be a space of time that I need to wait, and wait, and wait.

If I love you, I will love you dearly with all the love I have,
What do I do to keep you coming back to me?
What do I do to wait but let my heart in pain and grief?
I then only know that to waste your time and dreams.

I can’t give everything you want except to share to fulfilling joy I have, what I can gain from my life will be as easy as a normal human can be, without having to counterfeit my affection. I'm afraid because I see dark path along the way, my heart tell me to stay, but my mind giving the possibility to accept the true nature in relationship. I got nothing to chase. And I know I got nothing more to give in terms of materialsm and the defination of hi-lifestyle. Again, I'm being obnoxious, paradoid and naive, because I don't want to be hurt over and over again, but then, I will always think of you and that I will love you forevermore, very dear as always. I'm sorry, I can't accept ambigious affection, I don't want to wait, I want dreams to come true. So I guess I will continue to spoil myself and be untamed, because I want to loose my faith in affection. I felt so down, and I got nothing.

I never felt so alive loving this way before, but my love is in your hands. I will make it worth if you want me to. I change myself if you want me too, but please don't tear my heart, not again. I beg u. I want you to know that I love you so much. Looking at your eyes gives me the butterflies, i never felt like this since my last break off, but I'm afraid to fail you.

if you want me want to dance, how can I do it if it's water that I'm standing on...

2 opinions :

Hot ChocoLate said...

hey bro..sorry for the " ciplaking " your artwork..sorry for everything..hope to see you soon...really impressed wiff ur creation...maybe i can learn sumthing from u....sorry bro!!dun get angry arr..!!PEACE!!

Hot ChocoLate said...

bro..saye mintak maaf bebanyak sebab ciplak idea bro..Saye nak ucapkan terime kasih sebab kalau bro tak tegur saye, sampai bile2 pon saye takkan belaja sendiri..Terime kasih banyak bro..serius lepas saye bace ape bro komen tue,saye fikir kejap..Apepon,saye nak cakap yang saye memang minat GILE bro punyer artwork..kemas..!!saye harap bro tak amik hati sebab saye ciplak idea bro, saye dah delete pon sebab saye hormat bro..saye mengaku salah saye..harap kite leh jadi kawan...neway hit me when u got this msg!!PEACE!!