Reminisce of 1997-2002 & Today

Having the most understanding, loving and caring parents is the greatest gift, a privilege of an individual. In this case, it’s my parents. For all the years, they had made me become wealthy with knowledge and the education I much needed. Yes, I was the ‘lowest’ educated rank of ‘attainment’ in the family once, where I got poor results in primary & secondary school. I was too much concentrating into arts & literature, reading poetry of Usman Awang, went to drawing competitions and debates but lost a lot of concentration in my studies. Since my geography teacher was my mum best friend, Geography, literature and Arts was the only subject had in mind. But then I went to UiTM, things have changed. It was a rollercoaster. I got kicked out from UiTM in my final year for uncompleted paperwork (practically I haven’t passed the Casting subject in Fine Arts) because I was terribly unwell. I was in the midst of ‘killing myself’ for the reason that I was a complete failure for not doing much work. Then my mum gave me more money for me (which I happen to found out that she sold her gold bracelet to get me money) in order to continue my Degree. It was a difficult period. Yet, I was the only student who took Electronic Arts movement in my major artwork (Installation & Web Art) and I have been fighting with my ‘digitally naïve’ course tutor that time just to continue the legacy of the late Ismail Zain (who is the visionary of computer arts). I got no support over there because it was a risk to bring ‘new’ trends into the old Fine Arts Department’s culture, but then people like Prof. Ponirin Ahmad, Ramlan Abdullah, Sharmiza, Prof. Ariffin ‘Pak Pin’, Prof. Yusoff Ghani, Prof. Zakaria ‘Pak Ya’, Hasnol J. Saidon, Mr. Hisyamuddin and Mrs. Zanita of National Art Gallery, who had opened my mind, turned up to rescue me which forever I express my gratitude towards them. God bless. You see, people who travel a lot see things in different perspective. They know exactly how to appreciate art. Not to see art as a commercial value. I remember Jai (Abu Hassan) once said to me, “you not just looking, but also seeing”.

And Today?
Today, my mother had lent me her funds to pay off my debts (my car and insurance). She was very helpful and understanding even she knows at this very moment, I was a dishearten son searching for better and safer opportunity in career in order to survive*. I cannot offer to tell precisely what has occurred in the current company I work with, but this will be my last week at this juncture.

* Surviving the moment Means to stand up and take advantage of time.
I.e. hang on in the bus, squeeze yourself in because you must grab the opportunity of else, time will affect and cause unsecured result. Don’t let time rule. (Based on our discussion with my sister, her boyfriend and parents during our Sunday breakfast yesterday)

What’s the real metaphor?
The typical Malay society (mostly government sector like land Army and Police) will never understand how important is education and how strong is a family values. You see, this morning at 1 am, I went to Warung Mamak in Sg. Besi (which defines as Indian Muslim Restaurant / Stalls) for my short session of Ginger Tea and my cigarette break (I just came back from the bank to cash deposit the money my mother gave me earlier).
I had “observed” a lot of Malays sat in groups, wasting their time talking rubbish, non-business related topics and girls (sex) and these are all married men. So this is the Malay are heading today? My father once said, “these days, the Malays hangout in café’s, doesn’t matter if it’s a mamak or Starbucks, but they all sit there to criticize people, looking at people and wasting time”. It’s true. For those, foreigner who had been to Malaysia, I’m pretty sure you had experience the same. It’s uncomfortable.

So, when I came back home, I saw a letter on my father’s desktop where the Sekolah Angkatan Tentera Sg. Besi’s (Military Secondary School) Principal wrote a letter for fund request for their event. I use to come across this kind of request because my father was the Chairman of the Parents & Teacher’s Society in that school. The question is, what’s going on and how can the school always lack of funds?

Let see why this happen in some certain ways
According to my 26 years of living in the Military life, to my analysis, typical Military married men/family has this very typical culture;

1. Thought education for their children is redundant, that’s why we see their children wandering off the streets at night, damaging public properties and disturb neighbors at night. We see their children swearing at cyber cafes, playing ‘Counterstrike’ and wasting money and time. I don’t need to tell, but cordially inviting you to come over to any cyber café in Sg. Besi nearby Bandar Tasik Selatan Area (MRR2 Cheras or on the way to The Mines) and see this with your own eyes.
2. Parents encourage entertainment because they are busy meeting friends or doing side-income business. I saw ASTRO cable plates all over the ‘other rank’ houses in the camp. Even we, our family won’t buy it because we know our small sister and brother will not concentrate on their studies if they watch too much TV. They have a very expensive karaoke machine at home. Now how bizarre is that for someone who owns small income? I also saw a father buying pirates VCD for their children and to think that their salary is only RM750-RM1200 Ringgit. With RM6-RM10 Ringgit, you can buy your children two (2) education or story books for them to read or you can buy two (2) bottle of milk for your children to stay healthy.
3. Car modification. Oh, hell this one is a dead-end culture! They had been practicing this culture for decades. They would rather spend thousand of Ringgit to buy new sport rims, put on big car exhaust and expensive stereos. Have you heard the word ‘like father, like son’? This is how the mat rempit’s got their idols.
4. No control over their children. You can see young teen wandering around the streets until 2 a.m. hanging out at the bus stops or phone booth. Don’t they ever think that they might get kidnap, raped or kill? Don’t the parents suspect their sons or daughters involve in dangerous crimes, such as drugs, street racing, gang fights or free-sex-life for being a ‘bohsia’ (define as slut/bitch in Chinese)?
5. Tupperware meetings. Yes, typical military/police housewives. They love to talk about their neighbors, they intend to know what’s going on, who marries who, which housewife got divorce and others. Carrying around bad rumors and spread ‘disease’.
6. Dangdut & Magnum4D. Yes, this happens in our local Malay society. Why gamble money over something you know you will not receive at the end? It’s addictive and it’s treacherous. It’s even worst to see their husband hangout in Pubs and Dangdut clubs. Having affairs with other women (particularly Indonesian/Thailand sluts), leaving their wife at home to take care of things. Leaving them with your debts. It’s pathetic.

Conclusion
I can elaborate more issues on this, but these are few rationales I can provide you on what’s going on. It’s up to you now, to be grateful for what’s best in your life. If you love time, don’t waste it. Cherish your family and your love ones the most*. If you are married, love and trust your wife and your children. Don’t take chances to let yourself distract by doing something that is not right. Don’t EVER let yourself become a human but have the thinking of a beast.

I am depressed and frustrated at a number of situations, but to the very boundaries I came across; I have my family with me to ‘heal’ my heart, mind and soul, I shall me mellow. That’s a part of being a human, with love and to care.



Untuk Mama
Mama, ingat tak masa zaman muda? Mama pakai baju ni kan? Muid tempah baju kebaya yang cantik untuk Mama. Ini bunga untuk Mama. Letaklah diatas telinga Mama. Muid ingin menari dengan Mama seperti Mama menari dengan Abah dahulu.